Friday, February 15, 2008

My FL-Week 7 The News Edition

In my lame attempt to keep this up without the aid of decent photographs or knitting content, I decided to show you the local tidbits we have to offer here in South Florida. These are actual headlines from my local e-news right here. As always, opinions are included free of charge.


Fine dining.

Doral Chili's Closed For Violations Reopens Next Day
The Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation issued 16 violations after finding at least 10 live roaches at the bar and kitchen areas.

Finding 10 dead roaches would have been better?

Coconut Grove Businesses To Stop Selling Alcohol At 3 A.M.
COCONUT GROVE, Fla. -- The city of Miami announced that it will force Coconut Grove businesses to stop serving alcohol at 3 a.m., two hours earlier than normal.

Oh this will help (see Double WTF? Below)


Entertainment.

Concert At Seminole Hard Rock Rescheduled After Gas Leak
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. -- A spokesman says tonight's Paul Anka concert at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino has been postponed because of a nearby natural gas leak.

We have natural gas fields in the area?, seriously, I’d like a discount at the pump please.


Security

Miami-Dade Police Shoot Storeowner

WESTCHESTER, Fla. --
A storeowner responding to an alarm at his business on Thursday morning ended up being shot by Miami-Dade police officers, officials said.

If your alarm goes off, let the professionals handle it.


You’re gonna need a bigger boat

Miami Commissioner, Police Chief Rally To Ban AK-47s
MIAMI --
AK-47 assault rifles can shoot through a police vest or even through a car, and police said they're flooding Miami streets.

That’s why they always shoot first, see article above

Our Heroes

Firefighters Find Burned Body Beside Road
MIAMI -- Firefighters responding to a brush fire on Wednesday night found a burned body along Krome Avenue.

WTF?


Man Found Lying Dead On Side Of Davie Road
DAVIE, Fla. -- The search was on for the hit-and-run driver who killed a man in Davie on Wednesday morning.

Double WTF?




At 10:50 PM, The old man and I heard this for ourselves.
S. Fla. Residents Clean Up After Overnight Storms
Property was damaged after a tornado ripped through Broward County, and Miami-Dade County residents were dealing with power outages after fallen trees knocked out power lines on Wednesday.

Have a plan people.



Sports

Even After Zednik's Injury, Don't Expect Neck Guards In NHL
CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. -- After a skate blade sliced into Richard Zednik's neck, Jassen Cullimore's jersey was splattered with blood as he helped his Florida Panthers teammate off the stained ice.

Pretty bad ass for Florida hockey, no? Does my hockey lovin heart proud.


Family fun

Family Finds Metal Blade In Valentine Lollipop
LAKELAND, Fla. -- Parents are being warned to check their children's Valentine treats carefully after a Florida family found a metal blade in a lollipop.

We know how to keep our kids in line.




You get the idea. And you wonder why I’m cranky? Don’t worry, if you’re planning a trip here, we have our good souls too.

Good Samaritans Save Pit Bull Found Stuffed In Dumpster
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. --
A pit bull is recovering after being stabbed and left for dead in Hollywood.

Don’t we have the nicest people here? Bless their hearts.


This concludes the local news edition of my Florida. Next week, pretty pictures of palm trees and blue skies.

14 comments:

Stitch-n-Snitch said...

We're hockey lovers, too. Didn't that slash just blow your mind?! Yikes.

Bridget said...

I love these kinds of stories, they crack me up.

Except of course the one about the poor pup. I'm glad someone found him. *I'd* like to find the @#@!!%^^ who left him there!

Opal said...

Ye gads! I'm laughing and cringing all at the same time. :)

hillary said...

Too funny. There is some weird stuff going on down there.

NH Knitting Mama said...

I think this kind of stuff goes on everywhere. I would still visit you, have no fear!

skully said...

ha ha, I always say WTF when reading my Miami Herald, too!

Kim in Oregon said...

These totally cracked me up! Thanks.

Lynn said...

ROTFL!!!! Oh those were SOOOO South Florida!!!! Thanks for sharing and reminding me abt working for Sun Sentinel!

Jenni said...

Goodness...FL sounds kinda scary!

Anne said...

I love your new "digs"! Even without photos. :)

jenifleur said...

I will kick myself for the rest of my life for throwing out one of our newspapers. It's only printed twice a week and one of them had a full color picture and accompanying story on the front page "New Concrete Culvert Drying". I swear I should start a Newsworthy in Hicksville blog.

jessie said...

That's why I love Vermont. We have all the same kind of stuff but it's snow, not tornadoes, and when people get killed, the bodies don't turn up.

So proud to be an Amurrican.

kaoticorchid said...

You know, I was just kind of wondering where you went. It took me ages to actually click the link to the new blog. Doh!

coffespaz said...

Where'd you go??