In my lame attempt to keep this up without the aid of decent photographs or knitting content, I decided to show you the local tidbits we have to offer here in South Florida. These are actual headlines from my local e-news right here. As always, opinions are included free of charge.
Doral Chili's Closed For Violations Reopens Next Day
The Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation issued 16 violations after finding at least 10 live roaches at the bar and kitchen areas.
Finding 10 dead roaches would have been better?
Coconut Grove Businesses To Stop Selling Alcohol At 3 A.M.
COCONUT GROVE, Fla. -- The city of Miami announced that it will force Coconut Grove businesses to stop serving alcohol at 3 a.m., two hours earlier than normal.
Oh this will help (see Double WTF? Below)
Concert At Seminole Hard Rock Rescheduled After Gas Leak
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. -- A spokesman says tonight's Paul Anka concert at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino has been postponed because of a nearby natural gas leak.
We have natural gas fields in the area?, seriously, I’d like a discount at the pump please.
Miami-Dade Police Shoot Storeowner
WESTCHESTER, Fla. --
A storeowner responding to an alarm at his business on Thursday morning ended up being shot by Miami-Dade police officers, officials said.
If your alarm goes off, let the professionals handle it.
You’re gonna need a bigger boat
Miami Commissioner, Police Chief Rally To Ban AK-47s
AK-47 assault rifles can shoot through a police vest or even through a car, and police said they're flooding Miami streets.
That’s why they always shoot first, see article above
Firefighters Find Burned Body Beside Road
MIAMI -- Firefighters responding to a brush fire on Wednesday night found a burned body along Krome Avenue.
Man Found Lying Dead On Side Of Davie Road
DAVIE, Fla. -- The search was on for the hit-and-run driver who killed a man in Davie on Wednesday morning.
At 10:50 PM, The old man and I heard this for ourselves.
S. Fla. Residents Clean Up After Overnight Storms
Property was damaged after a tornado ripped through Broward County, and Miami-Dade County residents were dealing with power outages after fallen trees knocked out power lines on Wednesday.
Have a plan people.
Even After Zednik's Injury, Don't Expect Neck Guards In NHL
CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. -- After a skate blade sliced into Richard Zednik's neck, Jassen Cullimore's jersey was splattered with blood as he helped his Florida Panthers teammate off the stained ice.
Pretty bad ass for Florida hockey, no? Does my hockey lovin heart proud.
Family Finds Metal Blade In Valentine Lollipop
LAKELAND, Fla. -- Parents are being warned to check their children's Valentine treats carefully after a Florida family found a metal blade in a lollipop.
We know how to keep our kids in line.
You get the idea. And you wonder why I’m cranky? Don’t worry, if you’re planning a trip here, we have our good souls too.
Good Samaritans Save Pit Bull Found Stuffed In Dumpster
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. --
A pit bull is recovering after being stabbed and left for dead in Hollywood.
Don’t we have the nicest people here? Bless their hearts.
This concludes the local news edition of my Florida. Next week, pretty pictures of palm trees and blue skies.